


Running In Circles

by DIPHYLLEIATAE



Series: freeze the time at seventeen [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BittyParse Friendship, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Kent Parson Deserves To Be Happy, M/M, Past Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Post-Canon, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:54:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8606239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DIPHYLLEIATAE/pseuds/DIPHYLLEIATAE
Summary: “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t,” Kent breathes out into the night sky, eventually.“Do what?”“I can’t sit here and watch,” he bites into the side of his hand to muffle the first sob, “I can’t watch you fall in love with him, I thought I was strong enough but I’m not.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> – set before the previous ficlet in this series  
> – this fic is set 2 years after the kegster, a year after they've become friends again & a couple of months since Jack and Bitty broke up)  
> – title from the song 'friends' by chase atlantic  
> – characters belong to ngozi ukazu
> 
> [tumblr](http://daeguarchives.tumblr.com)   
>  [twitter](http://twitter.com/daeguarchives)

_There had been that_ _**one** _ _night when Kent had broken down in front of Jack and let go of all his feelings. They never talked about it after that night – partly due to Kent wanting to ignore it and partly due to Jack not being able to find a way to talk about it._

☾  

They’re at the bonfire the Falconers had organised to celebrate Tater and Snowy’s engagement. It’s two in the morning, half the team are asleep on the floor with some of them dangling off the couches, the other half are dancing or badly singing along to Sia. Kent feels kind of out of place, he’s not a Falconer and he’s really not on any type of friendship level with any of the guys, aside from Tater and maybe Jack. Jack knows more about him these days, he knows more about Jack these days and it seems to be working; they talk regularly and even the sports commentators have stopped asking them about some rivalry bullshit.

Kent hadn’t really expected to ever be so high on Tater’s friend list that he would be invited to the man’s engagement party. Then again, that might have been down to the fact that Tater might have killed him if the rest of the Falconers hadn’t stopped him when he’d crashed into Snowy.

_(Though Tater and Snowy did now know that Kent genuinely did not mean to try and kill Snowy while trying to score a goal, the chirps were endless)._

His and Tater’s friendship had a weird beginning – the two of them were both drinking their losses away when a very drunk Kent sidled up next to Tater and gently leant his head on the Russian’s shoulder while purring like a cat. That moment then lead to the two of them getting flat out drunk with Kent daring Tater to do as many vodka shots as possible to “test his russian–ness” before they headed back to Kent’s apartment. In the middle of the night, Kent got up from bed because of a nightmare and went down to Tater who was sleeping on the couch. Turns out Tater was quite the deep sleeper and so Kent quickly picked up the blanket and went to sleep on Tater’s chest.

The two of them had breakfast together, it wasn’t awkward or empty like Kent thought it would have been though he chalked it up to the both of them realising they hadn’t slept together. As Tater left, he winked at Kent and asked if he wanted to do it again. A couple of days later and Kent DM’d Tater on Twitter, telling him he was in town and ready to get drunk. To say it was a ritual of theirs to go out to bars – sometimes they wouldn’t even drink, they’d just sit in the bar, watching sports – would be an understatement.

Kent's nursing a beer that he’s barely even taken a sip from, absently just watching the dancing men. He sees Jack in the centre of it all, he’s got a huge grin on his face and all his attention is pinpointed on the small blond in front of him – Eric Bittle. Kent knows that Eric hates, or at the very least dislikes, him.

Kent  _ ~~hates~~_ hated himself after that Epikegster where he had lashed out at Jack, it would be no surprise to Kent that Eric would hate him too.

Then again, Kent has never really talked to Eric apart from functions or times he had bumped into him.

Jack’s eyes meet Kent’s briefly and Kent prays that Jack doesn’t see that the smile he just gave him was fake as fuck. It hurts to see Jack like that and he doesn’t know why. All he knows is that there is a weight in his stomach and a pang of pain in his chest and that he needs to get away from all these people, away from this party, away from _Jack_ before he’s sick. He slips away quietly, without anyone noticing to the rooftop.

He’d always liked sitting on rooftops, it always made things easier. Up on the rooftop, he could kid himself into thinking that it was the wind that was causing his eyes to water, not his own sadness. It seemed a hell of a lot more easier to breathe on the rooftop because all the people were down there and Kent was on top of the world, physically, at least. It was easy to just lie down and count all the stars as if he had nothing else to do with his time. It was just easy.

He knows he’s been up there for a while but he closes his eyes anyway. His eyes snap open as quickly as they closed when he hears Eric’s voice call his name. He ignores it, hoping Eric would get the hint and leave him alone.

“Kent?”

The voice seems a lot more closer now and it’s only then that Kent realises that Eric is standing right in front of him. He smiles up at him before trying to discretely wipe at his face to hide any trace of his crying episode.

“Hey, Eric.”

“The guys are looking for you, Kent.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll be down in a sec.”

Eric sits beside him on the roof ledge once he sees that Kent isn't getting up.

“What's got you thinking so hard?”

“My dad,” it was the easiest lie he could come up with and if it was because it was the one he used to recite to his therapist every other week, well, Eric didn't have to know. Eric looks at him with a stare that silently prompts him to speak.

“After Jack, OD'd, I always expected to feel lonely for a real long time and then, _I didn't._ Like, I just didn't feel lonely at all and at first, I was like 'hell yeah, I am going to be okay without Jack Zimmermann,' and then we won the Cup. _We won the Cup and I felt nothing,_ absolutely nothing. That's when I realised, I had expected this loneliness for so long because deep down, I guess I knew that hockey mattered to Jack more than I did, that I started putting up these barriers to stop it from coming.”

“I thought you were thinking about your dad?”

“He was such a fucking dick, you know? He had a gambling addiction, was always in and out of the casino or he'd be online, betting on stupid shit. Even with Mom's 3 jobs, we were never well off, she had to pay for my hockey shit and that was fucking expensive by itself, never mind the bills. Then one day, he won big and he was gone in a week.”

“Oh...” Eric placed a hand on Kent's shoulder, who just smiled before continuing.

“Didn't see him for years, I was only eight when he left. When I was thirteen, my aunt Sheila sent us a hell of a lot of money because her company started doing really well. We lived in a small town and obviously, everyone knows everyone's shit and then my dad came back. Used our fucking money and then he was gone, tried to do the same thing about a year later but and of course, my Mom let him in again only for him to disappoint all five of us again. He came back like four more times, then my Ma clocked him in the face and he never showed his face again.”

“You call your mother, Ma and Mom?”

“Nah, Mom is my biological mom but Ma is step mother. She and Mom got together when I was sixteen. Anyway, my dad turned up at my house after we won the Cup,, and he smiled at me when I opened the door. Fucking smiled at me like he'd been there for me all along, as if he wasn't just here to ask me for more money. I let him and we talked for a while before he asked for money, I said no and it was as if there was someone else in front of me. He called me selfish, ungrateful, a fucking mistake, the whole fucking dictionary.”

“And then he tells me,” Kent sniffs, “Tells me Jack probably tried to kill himself to get rid of me.”

His voice cracks on the last word before he looks at Eric – Eric who is staring at him like he can't believe this is the same person he saw at the Epikegster – again, “Don't worry, I just punched him like my Ma taught me to. Then I closed the door and cried like a little bitch,” Kent chuckles, “I knew it wasn't true but I felt so lonely. I hadn't felt anything for years and this fucking tsunami of loneliness hits me so hard because Jack promised. _He fucking promised._ ”

“Promised what?”

“He promised to be there for me if my dad ever showed up. We'd planned to live together, either we got on the same team or we were on two different teams that were close to each other, _but he wasn't there_. I'm better now but fuck, it hurt back then.”

The two blonds sit in silence, only for it to be broken by Jack Zimmermann, himself.

“Bits, can I talk to Kent alone?” Bitty nods before he gently squeezes Kent's hand with a smile on his face. Kent returns a different smile – it’s falling apart at the seams but trying to kid everyone that he's okay.

“Hey, Jack,” Kent says, another smile on his face.

Jack looks unaffected, “Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop acting like you're okay, like nothing is wrong and your life is perfectly fine.”

“I'm not doing that.”

“Kent, you barely even touched your beer tonight, you didn't even dance with anyone and then Bitty finds you on the roof.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“I know we haven't talked in years, but that doesn't mean I don't remember the shit you used to tell me. I remember you telling me that roof tops were your safe space, right after I had a panic attack in front of you. That was the moment I knew that you were my best friend, because that's what friends did, right? They told each other secrets and they told each other how they were feeling and they told each other when something was wrong. Now, I need you to tell me what's wrong with you because I can't just sit here and watch this happen to you.”

Kent doesn't say anything and Jack sits down just as Kent stands up.

“I can’t do it anymore. I can’t,” Kent breathes out into the night sky, eventually.

“Do what?”

“I can’t sit here and watch,” he bites into the side of his hand to muffle the first sob, “I can’t watch you fall in love with him, I thought I was strong enough but I’m not.”

“Kent...”

“You don't even understand, I feel so fucking shitty about this. I want to be happy for you, but I can't. It's like my head is telling me to let go because you and I aren't each others any more, _I'm not sure we ever were but my heart..._ My heart keeps telling me that it could be you and I again, that I shouldn't give up on you because I'm still so fucking in love with you. Half of me wants to get over you, not just because then it won't hurt but because it would make you happy. The other half wants me to be the one you come home to.”

He stands up and tentatively places a hand on Kent's shoulder, unsure of whether or not the contact will be welcomed or shrugged off. He's pleasantly surprised when Kent turns around and hugs him tight, his arms wrapping around Jack's waist like he did when they used to lie in Jack's bed together after a particularly hard loss.

“Kenny,” Jack starts.

“Just let me enjoy this for a second, Zimms,” Kent mumbles into Jack's chest.

“Kenny, you need to listen to me. Bi– Eric and I aren't dating any more. It was a mutual break up and we're just friends now.”

“Why couldn't _we_ have been just friends? Why did you have to shut me out?”

“Kent...”

Kent steps back, slightly, “No, I know you needed space and I gave that to you. I never called you, I always asked your mom how you were and I made sure she never told you. I waited for you to let me back in so we could play in the NHL together and then all of a sudden, you're at university and I'm thinking 'what the fuck'. And then I find out about this Shitty guy – great dude, by the way – and I realise that I've been replaced, I'm not your best friend any more. At that point, a part of me got the message. I mean, who would want to be around a weird kid who was in love with them around for longer than they needed to? But there was always this tiny part of me that couldn't care less if you never kissed me again. That wasn't the important part.”

Kent pauses, _“I just wanted my best friend back.”_

Jack reaches his hand out to Kent to hold Kent's hand in his own, “I'm so sorry, Kenny.”

Kent nods slowly and wipes his eyes, “Just, don't do that again, okay?”

“Okay.”

They stand in silence, Kent swaying towards Jack again before Jack takes initiative and holds Kent close to him, kissing him gently on the top of his hair.

Of course, Kent took it upon himself to break the silence.

“Hey, maybe okay will be–”

Jack's hand was suddenly on Kent's mouth, stopping him from saying another word, “You still do the whole movie reference thing?”

“Ya know me too well, Zimms,” the grin on Kent's face was so big, it looked as if he hadn't been crying just a second ago. Kent always did that, always managed to put a smile on his face.

“Do you want to come back to mine?”

“Jack Zimmermann! I have never been so scandalised in my life!”

Jack tugs Kent into him by the shoulders, “Shut up, Kenny. We'll go to mine and watch Forrest Gump or something like that.”

“Can't, I need to feed my baby girls, Jackie.”

“Your baby gir– oh, your cats. Honestly, if you were a woman and you had more cats, you would actually be a cat lady.”

“The correct term is cat mom and I am quite proudly a cat mom, so fuck you.”

“I forgot friendship with you meant constantly being sworn at.”

“I'm a hockey player, it's basically my mother tongue.”

“Let's get going, Kent.”

“I just told you that I need to feed my children.”

“Exactly, we're going to yours,” Jack replies, a grin on his face that could rival Kent's matching one.

 

 


End file.
